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Mission Beach is another typically beautiful stretch of the Queensland coastline that we decided to grace with our presence. It’s a small place with a population of a little over 1000. We pulled Vic (the beast) into a caravan park just set back from the beach and spent the day chilling out, maxing, relaxing and shooting some B-Ball. That evening we go out for a few drinks.

So, we’re stood around talking politics when I give the bar a casual sweep. I stop midsweep, utterly fixated by one woman. ‘Who the heck is that?’. Then it hits me. My excitement is quite uncontainable. I turn very slowly to the guys “Don’t look now,” I said, “but right behind me is whats-her-face out of Neighbours.” All three look. Yep, Steph aka Carla Bonner was right there in the flesh. As you can imagine I was fairly close to losing my head. But, as if that wasn’t enough, the guy who played Jack Scully was also there. Ok, so he couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag, but that didn’t matter, for he was right there in real life. Like, not on the telly, but real.

We didn’t feel like pestering them so, unfortunately, there is no photographic evidence but I’m pretty sure I didn’t dream it (about 80% anyway). Lewis said a ‘hello’ to Carla but she looked at him as if he had asked to smell her hair.

I fear that everything hereafter will pale in comparison to our Neighbours encounter. Amen.