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Word.

We’ve been on Ko Samui, the island a bit further down than Phangan. Spent a few days in Chaweng – played some football golf, frollicked a little on the beach.

Here is the football golf place, with the guy in charge. He was very happy.

We then moved down to Hat Lamai on the South East coast. We stayed at Best Resort, run by a rather friendly lady boy, in rooms that were similar to cells (one room, which technically contained the toilet too – there was no sink). We went to a little place called Kokila and readily agreed that the waitress was the most awesomest thing in the world.

Kokila shows films in the evening so we went back that night and got talking to another waitress, called Took. She spoke excellent English and mostly put it to use ripping Rosey to pieces. It was hilarious. We ended up playing a little Killer Pool with the staff at Kokilas, and mostly got hustled real good.

Later Took offered to take us around Ko Samui the following day and show us the various sights it has to offer. Also, in the course of the evening we learn the amazing waitress is called Miaow (yes, as in the noise a cat makes when you kick it). This simply adds to the awesomeness. Took also lets us choose which two films to play the following night. (We go for Superman Returns and You, Me and Dupree).

So the following day Took takes us around, and clearly she’s doing something right, as the car is a beast. A Chevy Colorado with a built in DVD player.

We ask her how long ago she learnt to drive.
“Oh, I don’t have a license!” she said happily.
There are three clicks as we exchange glances and buckle the seat belts, I tug mine just to make sure. We go to see the waterfalls and the Big Buddha and all in all it was a top day.

Some kids enjoying the water.

So that evening we spend our last night in Lamai and Kokilas, enjoying our films and nabbing a few photos with everyone.

This is everyone; Took, Miaow and the other one.

And one with Miaow. The photo does not do her justice. She is awesome and will make me a great wife.

Truly we were sad to leave Hat Lamai. The pics are courtesy of Lewis.

Saturday – the half moon party; Ko Phangan’s excuse to get drunk and party in the jungle. We start drinking at about 10.

Shortly after a number of Swedish girls that we spoke to the previous night join us.

We readily agree the 3 Swedes are getting steadily hotter. Whilst peeling the label off my Chang beer I note that it is 6.4%. I decide the two facts could be related. We are having good fun as a sixsome. A large Canadian gentlemen joins the group, clearly interested in our flock of Swedish girls. He enjoys telling me that “Canadians are brawlers” and then takes pleasure in demonstrating a humans pressure points, on me. I laugh politely and decide I do not wish to enjoy his company for any longer than necessary.

My favourite Swede is the one called Eleanor (say it in a Swedish accent and elgonate the ‘norrr’). She is both attractive and is in a long term relationship; the two qualities I go for in a girl. I decide to impress her with my grasp of Swedish. She pulls a funny face and looks confused. I remember that I don’t actually know any Swedish.

Here is me and her. I want her for my wife.

Lewis and myself invent a new kind of handshake.

One of our number is getting along VERY well with a Swede.

Here are some lines for you to read between:

____________

____________

Here we are.

Lewis and I adopt a girl from Leeds. She is the one I am garrotting in the photo. She invites us back to hers for drinks and ‘more’. We say no and continue to regret this decision.

At 7am we call it a night and walk past 2 in 1 HAIR! I would like a mohawk and a mullet.

Thanks men and Ladies.

We spent about a week on the small island of Koh Toa, a very chilled place with bars on the beach and dudes who spin fire around on sticks. I would recommend it for couples looking for somewhere romantic. There were many such couples walking arm in arm along the beach gazing into the middle distance. It made me sick.

I can tell you in the meanwhile that a good volume of drink has made the return journey, the um, foreign heat has affected my judgement in relation to those girl things and we have now travelled to the island of Ko Phangan.