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Tea and biscuits?

Finally we’ve arrived in Australia. It’s a large country that we filled with convicts, after which time they invented BBQs, Neighbours and surfing. It was briefly famous when a film called Crocodile Dundee came out during the 1980s. Since then they have been mostly drinking.

Our journey started in Cairns, which is up in Queensland on the North East coast. Here our number has swelled from terrible trio to a fearless four, being joined by a gentleman called Andy. We were in a new country, so it would make sense to get to know our surroundings and understand the culture so that we may better appreciate the place and people. With this in mind we went to a bar.

We went to the WoolShed, a place well known for being a drunken hole filled with backpackers. Whilst there we met some German girls. I asked if I could learn some German. “What would you like to say?”
“I like pie.”
“What?”
“I LIKE PIE!”
She needed no more convincing. In the interim, we bumped into a German guy we first saw back in Thailand. We’re not exactly sure what he’s called but we think it might be Phillipousus. Anyway, when he turned up I proudly proclaimed “Ich mag Apfelkuchen!” “You like apple pie?” he said. I think he was suitably impressed.

Here is a picture of Phillimopousus, some gaylord, a mentalist, German girl 1, another gaylord and German girl 2. Clearly the pie thing inspired the German guy to lick me.

The WoolShed also employed a rather delightful young person, who we bumped into in another fine establishment – PJ O’Briens. It’s fair to say Lewis nearly lost his head.

By the way – “Tell your Dad!”

I enjoyed the dubious pleasure of meeting a Swede. Sadly I feel she is probably a hoebag and not wife material.

Homies.

So Singapore was pretty neat. We went to Singapore’s Ministry of Sound Club. The music was great and the people were friendly. Ironically even with the great music I still spent a healthy proportion of time in the cheese room. Lewis and Rosey were not impressed.

I ate something really cool called Crouching Cheese Hidden Bacon. I found the bacon.

We also went on a pilgrimage. I bought a book called Yes Man by Danny Wallace at Heathrow. We’ve all since read it, and by gosh it’s a great book. Anyhoo, it lead us on a pilgrimage to the small island of Pulau Ubin just off Singapore.

There we rented bicycles and cruised around.

A woman asked if we wanted to see a wild boar. We said “Yes”. The boar looked angry. When we gave the bikes back the dude asked us (or at least from what we could make out) if we wanted to taste some fruit he had. Again we said “Yes”. It tasted like flavoured elastic. It was a great yes day.

All in all Singapore was cool, but then it was time to make like a tree and get the hell outa there.