VEGAS BABY!

posted on May 22, 2007 in Travel,USA

The first thing you receive on release from an American correctional institution is a Greyhound pass. We thought with all those freshly reformed individuals it’d be like sharing a bus with cake laiden nuns en route to the village fete. Well, a young Irish guy we met told us stories that suggested this may not be the case (the bus getting shot at, a guy sitting next to him earnestly explaining his progress constructing a Flux Capacitor). We were slightly apprehensive.

We left Yosemite at 6:30am to get the Greyhound from Merced to Las Vegas. It’s true there were some interesting characters on the bus but they were friendly enough. The 2 drunk guys offered Lewis and me whiskey from a flask (we politely declined), the guy on the row opposite snored mostly but then suddenly began bouncing and singing when a Rod Stewart song came on the radio and the spaced out guy behind us was probably too concerned that the bus was flying to bother us. We pulled into Las Vegas at 9.05pm.

Vegas rises out of the Nevada desert. An oasis of neon, buffets, roulette, men with tashes, women with tashes, where whatever is lost in money is made up for in weight. A place where every whim is indulged and everyone thinks they feel lucky. We stayed at the Stratosphere Casino Hotel, the one with the ruddy great tower sticking out of it.

The Stratosphere

It’s the first hotel we’ve stayed in since Singapore so it was kind of a big deal. We didn’t get a whole lot of sleep for the following three nights, Vegas is a 24hr kind of a place. Things got off to a good start. Lewis ‘Lucky’ Adams absently stuck a dollar in a gambling machine and a minute later it coughed up 60 big ones out. Woah I thought, it is possible. We dabbled in a little roulette, some blackjack and found out that gamblers get free drinks. Genius we thought. You wait until a waitress is in the vicinity and stick a dollar (about 50p) into a gambling machine and ask the busty lady for a JD and coke. Works a treat but of course in a country where people opening doors are tipped they expect a little something. From us they got sod all. We heard some coarse words uttered in our direction.

Guns are a bad thing. No doubt about that. But there’s a voice in your head (I call him John McClane) that says they’re cool. In Vegas I listened to that voice. Whilst Rosey ‘Dead Man’s Hand’ tried his luck in a poker tournament, Lewbob and I headed downtown to The Gun Store.

From beer to buses, you need ID for most activities in the states. We preemptively took our passports along. It was unnecessary. You don’t need ID to shoot guns. God bless America!

“You boys here to shoot?” said the guy. “Just choose what you want.” The wall behind him was a positive armory of heavy weaponry. Lewis chose the ubiquitous AK-47 whilst I went for the MP5. The guy gave us paper targets, the magazines and off we went to the gallery.

A large guy calls me over. “You ever fired a machine gun before?” I wanted to tell him about my action with a Super Soaker but opted instead for a “No sir”. He hands me the loaded MP5. “Ok bro, just squeeze the trigger, 5 or 6 shot bursts”. I pressed the stock into my shoulder and squinted down the sight…
BRRRAAARRPPP!!

The Gun Store

Crikey.

Even with the ear defenders I could hear the deadly chatter of Lew’s AK a few booths down. Quite an experience and it really makes you appreciate how bloody powerful and dangerous the things are.

Vegas medley. The MGM Grand.

MGM Grand

Vegas is full of slots!

Slot machines

The Strip.

The Strip

Las Vegas was an unforgettable, surreal experience incomparable to anything else we’ve done. But after 3 nights we were paggard and ready for another spectacle of the desert…
Stratosphere Casino Hotel Las Vegas

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San Francisco and Yosemite

posted on May 15, 2007 in Travel,USA

Stop… carry on.

After a long journey with only the walkman as company (thank you DJ Stu’s December mix for the eighteenth time) we arrived. San Francisco, the setting for Steve McQueen’s 1967 picture Bullitt. And famous for other stuff I spose. There are a few things tourists need to do in San Francisco else they run you over with a tram.

In at number 3. Look at a tram! Bonus points if it’s on a hill.

San Francisco trolley bus

Hey you, it’s number 2. Visit Alcatraz.

Us three at Alcatraz

Alcatraz prison cell

Bonus round. How did Alcatraz’s infamous prisoner Al Capone die? Gunned down in a shootout? Choked after a drug overdose? Nope, it was syphillis. That’s right kids, wrap it up before you slap it up.

And the number one thing to do in San Francisco… go see the Golden Gate Bridge. Yes, we hand a camera to a stranger and give a cheesy ‘full endorsement’ to another of the world’s famous structures.

Golden Gate Bridge

After San Fran we headed to Yosemite. We stayed at the Yosemite Bug – a ‘rustic mountain resort’. Within half an hour of our arrival we’d been roped into some photographs to show off the newly built health spa. We knew the drill, plus you never refuse a free sauna.

They put us in the dorm housing some of the employees. A German guy whose softly spoken articulate words betrayed his sizeable bulk and some Ukrainians. The German – Bastian – was a nice guy but from his bunk below me snored like a trooper. Every night his rumblings would start causing the 2 Ukrainian girls to hiss “Bastian!” and shake my bunk. This in turn set me and the guys off laughing. I guess you had to be there.
We fished out the walking boots for the first time since NZ. The Half Dome.

Half Dome

Yosemite Falls – the highest falls in North America.

Yosemite Falls

The top of the falls just before it plummets.

Top of Yosemite Falls

A squirrel.

Squirrel

A Ford Mustang.

A yellow Ford Mustang

Huzzah!

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Straight outta Compton

posted on May 7, 2007 in Travel,USA

Dawg.

We arrived in Los Angeles on the 17th of April a few hours before we left Fiji. Despite the guys assertion that I was too brown and bearded to get past U.S. customs, a cursory glance at my passport, a raised eyebrow at the big red ‘PAROLED’ stamp and I was in. We made our way to the Santa Monica AYH.

Santa Monica

L.A. is a mix of the crazy rich, the crazy poor and the plain crazy. A shiny new Ford Mustang will roll past on your left and a homeless guy will ask for a dollar on your right. As we’ve come to expect, the celebrities usually seek us out when we ride into town. L.A. was no exception. Lew from Swad sat next to Lee from Blue in an internet cafe. Lew managed to control his gag reflex and maintain polite conversation with the little pop tartlet.

We went to Universal Studios.

Universal Studios

Everyone has a defining moment in their life. Here was mine. My whole life had been building to this one moment in time. This one co-ordinate on the space time continuum. Yes – the Back to the Future ride.
Back to the Future ride

The DeLorean was there too. Great Scott, this was heavy.
DeLorean from back to the future

Sweet. Wisteria Lane. Unfortunately we didn’t run into Eva.
Wisteria Lane

Waterworld show. Rosey got drenched. Ah, good times, good times.

Waterworld

And of course we went to Hollywood.

Dick van Dyke Hollywood star

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