‘Cos that’s always a good idea.

Despite the prospect of throwing ourselves from a moving aircraft at 14,000 ft, Matt, Rosey and myself, were not so much scared as nervously excited. We got to the skydive place at crazy o’clock in the morning ready for the hour drive out of Sydney to the jump zone.

When we arrived it felt a bit ‘realer’, but still not so much to make you think “Woah, hold on! We’re doing what today?”

It was all a bit laid back – typically Australian. We got in our jumpsuits and had our ‘training’. Thirty-five seconds of training later, we were ready to jump. The nerves were building.

Walking over to the airstrip my parachute guy points out the plane. “Nice plane”, I said. I was lying. I expect it had seen action in both world wars. But I guess the safest place to be in a bone shaker like that is with a guy with a parachute strapped to your back. Nine people squeezed into the hold, about the size of the cupboard under your stairs.

We take off and the little plane claws its way into the sky.

We climb up higher and higher. ‘Oh crud’, I think watching the clouds floating below us. Rosey is on my right with the 4ft angry version of Macho Man Randy Savage strapped to his back. Matts in front – his guy had clearly missed his vocation as a film director and was busy taking clever shots of the harness with the little video camera.

The aeroplane levels out. Shit. This is it. I don the plastic goggles. The first guy out is doing a solo dive. He knuckle touches our parachute guys, slides up the perspex door, takes a look out and jumps, instantly disappearing out of view. Gulp. Next up: Rosey. He and his little wrestler slide over to the door, pause on the edge and plummet out into the sky. Well, that’s it, if Roseys doing it, then I’ve got to do it.

Another tandem guy goes, quickly followed by Matt, leaving just me and my dude in the empty fuselage. “Right, slide over to the door and put your feet on the step.” I duly oblige. For a moment we’re sat in the doorway looking down into the sky, the next…

“Aargghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

*Inhale*

“Aarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggg gggggggggggggggggghhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!”

This abbreviated video might give an impression of the jump.

And that was that. The whole thing was utterly surreal, you’re not quite able to comprehend what was happening. You don’t immediately recall the jump but spend the next couple of days remembering bits. It was awesome. As in utterly. Matt loved it so much he got the next plane up and did it again. Mentalist.